Friday, January 26, 2007

It's odd, I feel like I have a lot of crap rattling around in my head, yet I'm struggling to put it in writing. I guess maybe the problem is that I have several things in my life right now that aren't very clear. I have some great shows lined up at the Chesterfield, but my involvement is not the same, so my perspective is different. I think part of it is my lack of controlling the situation. I'm used to being in total control, and now I feel like I'm standing on the sidelines. For my own sanity, I'll have to step in and take control of the show tonight. We have quite a bit riding on this one, and I want it to go well.

All I can do is deal with the issues in my life one at a time. I'm sure that it will all work out cool. If things work out, things will be much better in the next few months. Our lives will become much less complicated. I'm excited about breathing new life into my graphics career. After basically taking 2 years off, I'm ready to get back at it. I need to brush up on some things and get in front of some people I haven't seen in a while. Actually it's been almost 6 years since I've devoted my efforts to promoting digital print and graphics. It might scare everyone to see what I can do! The next couple of weeks are going to be full of many distractions, but after that I will jump in head first!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Stepping away from the Chesterfield will be a difficult thing. After spending so much time there for the past year, I've become attached. Last night I showed up later than usual since I'm trying to make the separation. One of our regulars was in a "discussion" with my partner. The two of them have never really been on the same plane. When the "Fallen Friar" saw me, he approached me and said nothing. I saw the confusion in his eyes. After a silent look into my soul, he said, "Where have you been, I've been asking about Brent or Paula...these people..." That was enough said. I felt my heart slip. I also saw the beginning of the end, as my son put it.

I don't believe my partner has the "spirit" of the Chesterfield. That is the saddest part for me. The Chesterfield is more of an attitude than anything else. Unfortunately, that doesn't make for a money making business, but it sure is cool.

There are so many things about this separation that I don't have a grasp of. My partner for the past year has been unwilling to put the time or money into the club needed to make the deal work. Now that I have agreed to sell out my shares, he is putting money in the business as fast as he can. I don't get it. Apparently he wants to look good in the eyes of anyone looking on. I don't understand why he didn't get involved with the club over the last year. Maybe it was easier for him to put Paula and I on the firing line. I find some consolation in knowing that as he deals with the day to day operation, he'll understand what we've been working with for a year.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I've made a decision recently that will change my life. I am no longer going to spend the amount of time that I have been at the Chesterfield. In fact depending on how things work out, I may not be spending any time working at the club. Part of me is saddened by this decision. I'll miss the people that I see on a regular basis. I'll miss the nightlife in general. I won't miss the scramble to make ends meet. I won't miss sitting there 5 nights a week until 2 am whether we're busy or not. I won't miss cleaning the place 5 or 6 times a week. I am quite simply out of time and money to put into this endeavor any longer. Unfortunately, the people of Siouxland did not support the vision we had for a great original live music venue. It appears that the best approach for a music venue in Sioux City, Iowa is to bring in rock n' roll cover bands at a low cost. Let the sheep in for free and let them wallow in the regurgitated pablum of "Brown Eyed Girl" and "Taking Care of Business". This is not for me. Before I ever got into the music business, I did not like cover bands. This has not changed. I wish my partner the best of luck with his decision.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Happy New Year! It's cool isn't it, everyone wishing each other "happy new year". The positive outlook is great. I'm just happy that last year is over and hopeful that 2007 is better. I've said that the last two years, but things haven't improved. We have gone through 3 of the toughest years of our lives. I have always believed that you make your own "luck". Obviously, I've made some poor decisions in the last few years. I'm a dreamer. I have chased my dreams for over 20 years. I think the ideas have been good, just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

As I approach 50 years old, I have to become a little more of a realist. I need to look at things from a different perspective, one of reality in Sioux City, Iowa. Instead of thinking that I can change people's attitudes, I have to give them what they want. I need to put my ideals aside, and conform a little bit, AAGGHHH! I won't give up my free spirit, I'll just disguise it more often. Maybe I could move somewhere that my dreams and ideals would bloom. Is there such a place? There must be somewhere.

Apparently it's true that God never dumps more on us than we can handle. Through it all, we smile alot, love alot and keep on keeping on. What are you gonna do? I read awhile back that life's struggles are opportunities for us to learn and help us make better decisions in the future. That being said, at some point, we should be extremely well prepared. Hopefully what we learn we can pass on to our children and grandchildren and it will lead them down a path to sucess.

As we go into 2007, we certainly have many things to be thankful for. A great relationship, wonderful family and friends, good health (all things considered), and the hope of things to come. The only way that I can expect things to change is by changing the things I do, the way I live, and the way I work. Change is tough, but I know I can do it.